i found the best website the other night its called alluc wonderful website. It has tv shows for free. i’m not quite sure if its legal or not but i love it. lately i’ve been catching up on my Veronica Mars episodes

sitting upstairs in the hallway between the bedrooms of the 3 musketeers. everyone’s in bed but their not always quiet. enjoying myself with the laptop here. listening to the crazy bible study. down there. how exciting….do u sense my sarcasm?

almost every night i leave the house telling my roomates i’m going to go hang out with a few friends. i leave. drive down to the beach. watch the water. maybe grab a hot chocolate, walk a bit. head to my car. buy an ice cream. park the car in an empty parking lot and finish it off. i then park in front of the bar, sometimes i go in. sometimes i don’t. then i drive back. when i arrive i tell my roomates i had an awesome time with my friends and i head to bed.

"Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything, creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle, and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it’s still the mansion you remember. Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild. Because after disaster strikes, the important thing is that you move on. But if you’re like me, you just keep chasing the storm."

Veronica Mars

i drove past my old houses. the memories just came flooding back. i went back to the place it all started. things are so different now. i got to the ferry dock to go to the barnston and had to turn around. too many memories.

"Many an atheist is a believer without knowing it, juast as many a believer is an ahteist without knowing it. You can sincerly believe theres is no God and act as if there is. You can sincerely believe there is a God and live as though there isn’t."
From the book "Searching for a God to Love" by Chris Blake

For believers "the atheist" in them is what pushes them to continually seek truth. i’m one of those. although the atheist is pretty strong sometimes. good quote though

i once heard "love is futile." for years i have said "i’ll never get married." its not because i never wanted to. i just don’t believe its possible. why want something u can’t have? its not my kind of thing.

i went to my grandma’s grave today. i don’t know why. in an odd way i wanted to show her what i’ve become.

today i decided to go for a run on the beach. a planned day of exercise became a planned day of misadventure. yes your heard me right "misadventure." one can’t run the whole way (or at least i couldn’t). so walking i found a cat walking at the exact same pace alongside me on the railway tracks. he was a big yellow tabby. no collar. he looked naked except for the friendly smile pasted on his face. he was actually looking for mice on the otherside of the tracks. sadly the only pic of took of him was with my cell phone.

Further down i found the famous "white" rock. decided to climb it. after i sat up there taking a few pics i climbed back down, only to discover i left my cell phone on top. up i went, down i went. when i reached the bottom, i turned to find a little girl about age 4, studying me immensely probably wondering what the hell i’m doing.

Next came the dock (australians know it as the jetty).  Walking along (yeah i gave up on running) i heard 3 bangs behind me. i turned to find the seagulls dropping rocks…wait…not rocks but clams onto the dock. breaking them open. it was quite a sight, but nothing prepared me for what was next…a couple was walking towards me and out of now where a small wet shelled clam fell directly between them. you see the seagull carrying it didn’t have the strongest grip on it. it was a sight to behold. the seagull was happy for the clam was open. i was absolutly tickled by the show. but saddly the people weren’t too excited nor was the clam as a matter of fact. nevertheless i’m sure you’re happy reading this, therefore majority wins. White Rock beach was so much fun. too much, in fact tonight i went back and grabbed ice cream and walked along the pier. i feel lucky to live in BC. view likes this constantly remind me…