I don’t belong. I never will. I am a nomad, a wanderer. Maybe that’s why travel has such an appeal to me. Sadly, as much as I want to be Rita Golden Gelman (writer of Tales of a Female Nomad Living at Large in the World), i’m not. I’m scared to explore the world on my own. I have so many ideas, so many places i want to see, but the fact still stands, i’ll never belong not in China, Guatemala, and even America. My cat belongs more in my lap then I ever will in this world. I feel alone…

Wow, today was exciting and eventful. I finished my maternity final. I am strangly proud of myself for doing so well (93%) in a class that I read next to nothing of the overal reading requirement for the semester. Among that I tried out a new restaurant and of course when swimming. On a lower note, I almost got myself killed today. Thankfully, (unlike the other gazillion times) this time it wasn’t my fault. I got rear- ended. I was driving back from school and i stopped at a stop light and the truck behind me smacked into my bump. Luckily my car isn’t exactly ur common rolls royce. I was going to trade numbers with the guy (after i had finish swearing) when i noticed there was not a mark on my car. You see my dear old car is a tough cookie; sadly the guy that hit me broke his front light. Anyways, all in a days work. Till next time in my all to exciting life….

I want to go to South Africa and see the sunset; India to see the poverty; australia to see the animals; and guatemala to see the children. Ironically, I can see all of these things without driving more than 20 minutes and yet these different worlds tug at my soul. Calling to me like a lost child and I will go. I may come back unsatisfied and still searching but i have to go. I have to see for myself…

Not long ago a friend admitted that he had wanted to ask me out back in highschool. I was speechless because I don’t find myself all that attractive and well…want-worthy. Honestly i’m a bit of a geek. I like reading and i guess i study. I’ve always been that way. I swear one tries to blend into their surroundings but in the end you are who you are…

I’m going through a stage in where I have become to phlegmatic and so much in fact that i got off school early. Finished my exam in an half an hour walked out went home and slept till 11:00PM at night and considering i walked out of the school around 8AM, you can now offically classify me as lazy. anyways another test today. did i study? (dumb question)…um….no!

New Goal: To learn as many different languages as possible without reading a textbook…

Help me do it, what’s hello in your language?

If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
Love is the rhythm
You are the music
If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
You get what you’re given
its all how you use it…

I’ve been the girl - middle finger in the air
Unaffected by rumors, the truth: i don’t care
So open your mouth and stick out your tongue
You might as well let go you can’t take back what you’ve done
So find a new lifestyle
A reason to smile
Look for Nirvana
Under the strobe lights
Sequins and sex dreams
You whisper to me
there’s no reason to cry…

You take what you get and you get what you give
I say don’t run from yourself, man, that’s no way to live
I’ve got a record in my bag you should give it a spin
Lift your hands in the air so that life can begin
~Pink~

I’ve decided I wanted to see the world. I want to see Guatemala, Nicaragua and Guyana. I plan to go in about a year or two after i finish nursing (because i need at least two years nursing experience and well…i want to pay off the loan). I want to volunteer as a nurse i just have to figure out a way to support myself along the way. I could save up before i go. I’ve taken a look at various nonprofit organizations that I could join. I don’t know anyways if anyone has any tips please tell me.

I am seeing the world through different eyes these days (and its not my new contacts). Growing up I used to feel scared to learn about different religions, cultures and beliefs. I was scared I would find something, something that would end up proving everything i learned to be wrong. No one wants their beliefs shaken, disturbed or changed. People are stubborn. It’s there way or no way. I used to be one of those arrogant people, but I am seeing things differently. By not learning about these other religions we are creating a division that needent be there. We are basing this wall all on fear. Fear then rules our lives, our vacations, and our friendships. Why do people classify people according to class, society, clicks and groups. Humanity is what should tie use together, not a set of beliefs.

If We Are The Body

It’s crowded in worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls’ teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

But if we are the Body
Why aren’t His arms reaching
Why aren’t His hands healing
Why aren’t His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren’t His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances
Are better out on the road

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the Body of Christ
 
If we are the body
Why aren’t His arms reaching
Why aren’t His hands healing
Why aren’t His words teaching
And if we are the body
Why aren’t His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
Jesus is the way

~Casting Crowns~