My LifeJuly 28, 2007 9:45 am

Long Time Coming

Everybody wants to be loved
Every once in a while
we all need someone to hold on to
Just like a helpless child

Can you whisper in my ear
Let me know it’s alright
It’s been a long time coming
Down this road
And now i know
What i’ve been waiting for
And like a lonley highway
I’m trying to get home

Ooo loves been a long time coming
You can look for a lifetime
You can love for a day
You can think you got everything but
Everything is nothing when you throw it away

Didn’t know i was lost
Til you found me
Uh huh
Didn’t know i was blind
But now i see
~Oliver James~

My Life 7:32 am

Woke up this morning with an awful feeling in my chest…

My Life 1:34 am

I have chosen to serve and to care for the sick. I have chosen to be a nurse. I don’t mind the medication, the diagnostic tests, the lab work, the patients or the coworkers. As a nurse one learns therapeutic communication is the key. The nurse communicates to the patient in order to advocate and ensure a healthy recovery. All these relationship was made to ensure the client gets well, but when the nurse needs help who does she have? One spends so much time helping others that one soon wonders, What about me? Will anyone take care of me?

My LifeJuly 27, 2007 10:15 am

As a nurse one learns the importance of advocacy. Today i attempted to advocate for both myself and a few other people things didn’t work out so well. For goodness sakes "Don’t shoot the messenger!" All i know is three and a half more weeks and i’m out and for me thats all that matters…

My LifeJuly 24, 2007 8:47 pm

I was driving on the way to work today attempting to take a picture of the scenery and I managed to drive myself into a post. Neither the car or me was hurt (or the post for that matter) and after all that i realized the stupidity in picture taking. It’s amazing what an accident can do to you these days…

Why does one take pictures? Generally to show other people their view on life. What I discovered today is who cares what others see. I can expect people to see things my way. I can show them millions of photos about the life i live and unless i am physically putting my eyes in their sockets they will never see what I see. 

People make scrapbooks and fill it with fancy paper and faded memories and yet scrapbooks miss the true essence of life. The rawness and the beauty that only comes from living it. Scrapbooks should be made of: the boredom of highschool, the beautiful rainy days and unnamable accidents. They should have the good, the bad, and the ugly; NOT the 39 cent paper backing with the fabricated beauty of their first day of school. If your going to make a scrapbook at least make it realistic, uncut and unsnapped. We should be remembering our whole life not just the good bits and pieces, who the heck wants to read a story that had no hardship, no difficulties, no bumps (or unsightly poles) in the road.

Photography is an art no doubt.  I love it. I enjoy it. I’ll still take pictures not to show people, but for me. I may be the world’s crappiest photographer and probably the worlds worst blogger but i honestly don’t give a damn. I think i’m finally on the road to being happy with myself just the way i am. The world is looking up…

My LifeJuly 21, 2007 3:28 am

One can be jealous of others and their abilities and yet these are the people we share our secrets and trust because we believe they’re better than we are. We may hate them, but we trust them and are confident in them. We tell them things, that we would normally tell anyone but our cat!

A teacher who I hate very much dislike and barely respect asked me how i was feeling today and I gave her an honest answer. (i rarely give an honest answer to that question) Soon i found myself pouring out my story, like it was a glass to be served at the dinner table. I rarely open up like that. It’s amazing how one finds trust, confidence, and help in the most unlikely of places.

QuotesJuly 18, 2007 3:21 pm

Religion is a cult with more people

My Life 3:20 pm

I’ve been having weird abd. pain lately. Had it again last night. Quite bad actually. I really thought i had pancreatis but my blood sugar is 5.2, i also thought it was kidney stones, ulcer, and colon spasms but i doubt it. After class today, i’ll go to the doctor…

My LifeJuly 13, 2007 5:53 am

To: the bored people of this world that read my blog for entertainment and find that they were better off not to:

Yes I went vegan…for a day and failed. Literally! I’m not talking about the urge to eat ice cream, chocolate or what not. My body literally failed. Before I started this endevor I knew I was anemia and considering i’m studying to become a nurse I should have seen this coming.

I collapsed today at school in cry of an epigastic abdomnal pain. Embarassingly, it was after i just came out of the bathroom, and i collapsed in front of the sinks on the bathroom floor. Luckily the other person in the bathroom with me wasn’t someone from the unemployment center because they would have thought i died. Instead it was another nursing student who promtly ran grabbed a BP cuff, teacher, towels etc. They did my blood pressure, at first the poor teacher almost had a heart attack because it was 90/60 but then i reasured her my BP usually is low. Respirations were good. Radial pulse was the thing to worry it was 48. I was pale, diaphoretic. They put me into the nursing lab to lie down. After the abd. pain i somehow got back pain. And as I laid there all i could think about was "Damn why couldn’t it have been the thorasic area. Too many organs in the abd. area. Why the heck today anyways? Why couldn’t it have been friday when we actually have lab day and i could have had my stethescope." Nurses tend to be a different species from the world. They like to diagnoses. They want to know everything. A nurse never trusts anyone else to do a good enough job and they always want to check for themselves. I called my aunt. Told her i was sick. She said just come home (considering i drove). All i said was "that could be a problem" (considering the passing out the sudden urge to vomit). She came to pick me up, but not until she interrogated me with questions related to cramps, eating disorders, ulcers, kidney problems and just plain asking me what the heck i ate (like i said a nurse never lets anyone else do a job including interrogating the poor patient). I suddenly have a new empathy towards patients… 

I was happy that by the time my aunt got there my blood pressure was back up, radial pulse was 63 and the pain almost subsided. Went to the doctors which is the second time this week, sixth time this year. One would assume that when one takes nursing one wouldn’t have to visit the doctor. Obviously i don’t follow the status quo (nor do i intend to). So I went to the doctors and saw the self automatic BP, curious since at the school i wasn’t allowed to take my own BP. I checked it. Happily it was up and ready, also decided i should check my blood sugar (it was 5). Satisfied, I went to the waiting room where i proceeded to rip out recipes out of the magazines (don’t tell anyone).

As for the results…….oh you want them? Everything is fine. It’s NOT: kidney stones, gallbladder stones, appendix or PMS cramps. Honestly I still don’t know what it was, could have been either an ulcer or my colon seized up. My doctor favors the colon seizure, he also said that the fainting is probably due to a vaso vagal nerve that i stimulated (u can look that up, don’t want to explain) and from the severe lack of oxygen due to the vegan diet and the persistent anemia that I have. The back pain is from either the ulcer or the colon seizing up since the pain would obviously radiate to the back.

As for the vegan thing he, (along with my teachers who are RN’s, and my aunt) think the vegan idea was not so smart. I have very low hemoglobin (Hbg) from my anemia this means I actually have less oxygen in the body. My O2 Sat would probably be 92% which is quite low. Without eating eggs, cheese or meat I increase the change of pernicious anemia by almost 70%. Even with iron pills i could end up still low of iron. So yup I was vegan all right…for a day and a half! As they say, "Do or die."

My LifeJuly 10, 2007 3:00 pm

I’ve gone vegan today. I’ve been a little worried about my cholesterol levels and well we’ll see what happens. I may die crying "lack of chocolate" and throw myself off the deep end but we’ll see how it goes. Stay tuned…

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