My greatest fear is to have merely existed.

~my pastor~

I don’t want to exist and just to have known that I had existed.  I want people to think of me when I’m gone as a woman who made a difference.  Someone who was sold out on helping and serving people.  I don’t want to simply survive life, I want to spread my arms as far as they will go.  I want to be known in Africa, in South America, in Europe and in Indonesia I want to serve and sell my life out on serving.  I give myself to service.

I’ve been thinking lately about what I am going to be doing next year and I think I have come to a conclusion.  I’ll going to find my own place and maybe move towards the east.  The west side over here is becoming so industrialized and money oriented it’s sad.  Why should we follow the patterns of cooperations?  If money is all that we live more than the bank machine will rule over us.  I want to move east.  I’m going to be different I don’t want any chance of ending up like my family or even some of my friends.  I’m going to be different.

Welcome to my mildly entertaining life where things seem to just go down hill.  I thought I had reached the bottom but I guess we’re all in for a surprise now….

Whether its in the form of a person or a class there is always a problem.  Well I shouldn’t say that this class is a problem, it is simply a challenge.  I somehow got myself into a third year class that is freaking the hell out of me right now.  After walking out of there I felt like yelling at myself.  Telling myself like gosh what kind of classes do you pick?  Hello are you an idiot or something?  Your like the only first year student in there!!!!!!!" Yeah I’m a bit psyched…well more like terrified.  I like that it will stretch me, but for some reason I’m still a little worried so worried that I’m having trouble studing for any of my classes and instead I’m blogging about nothing in particular.  So in that case, I better sign off, and attempt to stare at the textbook for another half an hour, and pretend that I’m understanding everything I’m seeing, even though I’m looking at a textbook that only third year students look at.  Sure! (that was extremly sarcastic).  What can I say?  My life is entertaining!

I saw the most halarious sentence on the way to school.  It was on one of the car vacuum/ wash stations at the near by car wash and it said, "Our vaccuums suck."  If the company is making those kind of adds and banners then maybe they really do suck.  anyways I have to go read the rest of this chapter for my next class later all

Well I’m stuck in class with no teacher.  Yes, you read right in class, no teacher.  First day of this computer class and the teacher says he can’t show up for a half an hour.  Pretty crazy eh?  What did I tell you about college its highschool all over again except you walk farther to your classes than before lol.  Well I’m pretty bored I need to find a job actually.  Somewhere….anywhere…. anyways me bored.  This class sucks lol

Well I’m at college, what can I say it reminds me of highschool actually.  Theres so many people here I kind of hate it but it was nice to see a few familiar faces.  People are everywhere the line ups I can’t even begin to describe, all this hassel for a bit of tassel. sigh.  Who invented this society that in order to make a living one has to come to a place like this, to simply walk out wearing a goofy hat with a piece of paper?  Why are we all conditioned to to accept this imposterous way of living?  I wish there wasn’t a government.  I know that sounds odd, but I do.  Whenever a particular person is given the power as a leader or dictator or even just as the principal of a school, they will most likely be corrupted.  Someone once told me, "power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutly."  I hate what power does.  When J.R.R. Tolkien wrote Lord of the Rings, readers could tell that Tolkien understood the concept of power, and control, and what it can do to a person. Anyways I think I’ve found my favorite place.  Yes, you have all guessed it….the library.  I love it, its quiet, theres computers , and theres books.  What more could a girl ask for huh?  anyways I’m gonna go explore upstairs, hopefully no one will be up there.  College is a jungle just a reminded to all you freshman entering today or tomorrow.

Our society is screwed.  People sit around waiting for the next generation to do a better job.  While us teenagers, the ones who are already screwed over, are trying to put ourselves through school, simple grocery jobs and whatever else may be thrown our way.  We sit around telling our past generation that they did a crappy job and should fix it.  We’re constantly bickering and telling other people to do when we ourselves aren’t doing a thing.  I mean we get mad at George Bush, we put down our prime ministers but the truth is we can’t do a better job so why are we the ones talking.  Yes, we’re all busy with our day today lives, but if we ourselves aren’t willing to do anything then we shouldn’t be talking, nor should we be pointing fingers.  We have our priorities, we give attention to what we believe needs attention……..

wait who am I kidding???  I hate the government.  This is my blog, I’m a teenager, I’m allowed to have crappy grammar and I’m allowed to change my mind.  So I change my mind.  I’m mad at George Bush.  He screwed up not only his country, Iraqs and Canada as well.  He screwed up the reputations of singers, who were simply stating what every intelligent person living in North America does think.  Even if the Dixie Chicks weren’t on my itunes song list I would still stand up for what they did.  What happened to free speech?  American freedom has gone to the dogs, and Bush fed them it.  I don’t understand America, I’m just happy that for now I live in Canada.