I’ll let the title speak for itself…sigh When I was living at home I was lectured often about the importance of good grades. I was told nicely and harshly that if I didn’t get good grades I wouldn’t be able to get a scholarship and I wouldn’t be able to go to college. and when i say college I mean any college. What’s ironic is that in the past month or so since grad I’ve been offered both money and help with my tutition from the exact same people who once threatened me otherwise. weird family….

Do you know whats the best kind of guy? Its a guy who doesn’t know he’s smart, or good looking. But thinks that you are better than he is when your not….weird thought eh?

I can’t wait to get out of school. I feel like this every year, but this year is different and I’m excited I finally get to start my life. This life is my own, its the beginning of my own chapter. And I can’t wait to get my hands on that blank page! One problem….provincials. Its taking so long to get out. I feel like a runner ready to run. It just feels like I got to the track almost an hour early! (Thats at least what this waiting and writing stupid provincials feels like). sigh what can I say. After waiting so long it makes me feel like not running at all when the time actually does come. It spoils the spirit. It’s pretty depressing that 2 little tests looming before me can almost make me want to run and forget about my future.

“But this is picayunish, and we no longer have time for that. We no longer have time to atomize principles and beg the question. We fill too many gutters while we argue unimportant points and confuse issues.”

Black Like Me (one of my favorite books)
John Howard Griffin

Interesting….i was talking with a friend today on how “teenagers like to point out all the flaws in our society but rarely do anything to make the place any better.” In some ways this is true. Our world is crappy no doubt about that and it is a good thing that teenagers notice how crappy of a world we have. Teenagers rarely do anything to help in the world because when they do attempt to make a difference they are blocked. They have no power to help at times. But there are times when we argue in order to help or better the world and we end up doing it all for the wrong reasons. and sometimes our arguments make no sense, for example this really confusing post that i refuse to edit….

I want to be able to love people wholeheartedly with no prejudice or judgement
I want to be so crazy for God that I would give up my life
I want to be able to live in the moment (not in the past and not in the future)
and I want to make a difference

Its interesting my life has changed so much. Before when things weren’t going so well i had a strong spiritual life. Now its like its a God thing. My life has completely turned around. Things are just falling into place lately. Whether it has to do with my future or even in reference to my present day life. Things have changed so much but now my spiritual life has also taken a turn. i’m not the same as i was before. i’m not saying i have a crappy spiritual life but its honestly not the same. so what was better. Now that is the real question

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
~Mahatma Gandhi~

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one