So easter weekend finished approximately 15 minutes ago. honestly i didnt’ feel anything. r people seriously supposed to feel this revelation with God. Honestly i believe there is a God. I believe in Creation, my problem is with Jesus. I mean the man never did anything wrong or anything but i don’t think i fully understand the cross. i mean lets be honest. I dont’ get it, i dont’ get it, i don’t get it like how many times do i have to say it. But he’s just not real to me. we can all fake it for how many years to come but soon we have to face reality.

Good friday was the day Jesus died we did a communion thing with my church and we talked about Jesus’ death and we washed each other’s feat and everything but it didn’t feel anything. I felt like it was basically a long history lesson that i couldn’t relate to. Does anyone else feel that way or am i the only idiot? Honestly! I don’t get it. I know he died on the cross for me and everything but i can’t feel it the way one is supposed to feel it. Its like when my grandmother died, i didn’t cry, i cried a little before but during the funeral i shed no tears. Its the same thing with Jesus, i understand that he was nailed to a cross but i can’t cry. I just don’t. Is there something wrong with me? At that communion thing people were crying and weeping and the pastor was crying as he preached a bit, but i honestly didn’t feel anything except the great amount of hunger i felt after eating the unleavened bread and sour herbs.