well i’m in Hawaii, i should have typed something on here last night but i didn’t. this place is nice but i feel like there is nothing to do but look after the boys, sleep, read and swim i thought those things are possible in Canada not just here. anyhow its nice weather i got a tan too (and a bit of a sunburn) i’m almost done this book its interesting anyhow this place was litterally made for people 60 years of age or more. no teenagers, no parties or luas, or even taco bell sigh. anyhow the babies are great lol g2g baby’s excited till next time….
So easter weekend finished approximately 15 minutes ago. honestly i didnt’ feel anything. r people seriously supposed to feel this revelation with God. Honestly i believe there is a God. I believe in Creation, my problem is with Jesus. I mean the man never did anything wrong or anything but i don’t think i fully understand the cross. i mean lets be honest. I dont’ get it, i dont’ get it, i don’t get it like how many times do i have to say it. But he’s just not real to me. we can all fake it for how many years to come but soon we have to face reality.
Good friday was the day Jesus died we did a communion thing with my church and we talked about Jesus’ death and we washed each other’s feat and everything but it didn’t feel anything. I felt like it was basically a long history lesson that i couldn’t relate to. Does anyone else feel that way or am i the only idiot? Honestly! I don’t get it. I know he died on the cross for me and everything but i can’t feel it the way one is supposed to feel it. Its like when my grandmother died, i didn’t cry, i cried a little before but during the funeral i shed no tears. Its the same thing with Jesus, i understand that he was nailed to a cross but i can’t cry. I just don’t. Is there something wrong with me? At that communion thing people were crying and weeping and the pastor was crying as he preached a bit, but i honestly didn’t feel anything except the great amount of hunger i felt after eating the unleavened bread and sour herbs.
Why do i ask questions? Because….
“A single question can be more influential than a thousand statements.”
Do you ever feel like a bother to eveyone around you? Your just this problem that people put up with. Its like the music teacher at our school, we only put up with her because she can sing. Its the same thing with Jennifer Lopez. Honestly i’m feeling alot like that. I just want to curl up into a corner and hide and never come out. Problems aren’t good things and neither am i
I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.
~Nicolas Sparks~
“The man who is born to be a dictator is not compelled. He wills it. He is not driven forward, but drives himself. There is nothing immodest about this. Is it immodest for a worker to drive himself toward heavy labor? Is it presumptuous of a man with the high forehead of a thinker to ponder through the nights till he gives the world an invention? The man who feels called upon to govern a people has no right to say, ‘If you want me or summon me, I will cooperate.’ No! It is his duty to step forward. The army which we have now formed is growing day to day. I nourish the proud hope that one day the hour will come when these rough companies will grow to battalions, the battalions to regiments, the regiments to divisions, that the old cockade will be taken from the mud, that the old flags will wave again, that that there will be a reconciliation at the last great divine judgment which we are prepared to face. For it is not you, gentlemen, who pass judgment on us. That judgment is spoken by the eternal court of history…Pronounce us guilty a thousand times over: the goddess of the eternal court of history will smile and tear to pieces the State Prosecutor’s submissions and the court’s verdict; for she acquits us.”
~you don’t want to know who said this, but ask me sometime if u really want to know”

