I have been dying to get onto a computer to type in like days. Life has been really stressful and i haven’t been doing anything right, seriously! i have been breaking all the rules, i am a very extreme person and either i follow the abide by the rules everyday or i just don’t. its funny. i’m supposed to be studying bio and reading hamlet but i just don’t want and i’m supposed to be eating oh well. but this really helps just to talk to someone/ something how can a person be best friends with a school computer i do not know lol. oh well i better go. i just learned something new today, suicide is not like a solitary, lonely thing like we all think, it’s rather a whirlpool that drags ur family members and friends in as well and yet there are alot of people (including myself) who dwell and think on these things….

I am not a very creative person (people may think i am at times) but i’m not exactly what you call original i’m like a carbon copy of many people and many ideas. I watch many many movies and reading many many things so i become those things i have a vast and strange imagination and yet I am not myself because i don’t know myself and who i am i believe that someday i will find myself but as of right now i don’t need to. Just the other day i heard from a friend that she was reading my blog i used to believe that people simply don’t care to read such a thing as another chapter in my life but i guess there are some people who do and thats really comforting but at the same time somewhat scary because you write and act differently when someone is watching. Say if a girl and a boy are making out (sorry bad example but oh well) and if someone was watching them they would probably stop immediately but if no one is there they will probably keep going. Do you get the picture? I dance differently when someone is watching and i sing differently when someone is listening and so it is the same with writing i hope i write something that is worth reading. ttyl guys i have to go do Biology! till next time…

I am not a very creative person (people may think i am at times) but i’m not exactly what you call original i’m like a carbon copy of many people and many ideas. I am not myself because i don’t know myself and who i am i believe that someday i will find myself but as of right now i don’t need to. Just the other day i heard from a friend that she was reading my blog i used to believe that people simply don’t care to read such a thing as another chapter in my life but i guess there are some people who do and thats really comforting but at the same time somewhat scary because you write and act differently when someone is watching. Say if a girl and a boy are making out (sorry bad example but oh well) and if someone was watching them they would probably stop immediately but if no one is there they will probably keep going. Do you get the picture? I dance differently when someone is watching and i sing differently when someone is listening and so it is the same with writing i hope i write something that is worth reading. ttyl guys i have to go do Biology! till next time…

You know the other day was the first day of school and i was kind of happy for the chance to go back and get busy again its just that i had Biology that day and well we got our text books. most of the bio text books are different editions so don’t exactly match the teachers main text book because of this and i know for certain and good friend and i were the only ones who received the newest version and i was kind of unhappy and disturbed about this. the people who get these versions have to look up the subject that the class at the time is reading on i know he gave it to my good friend because she is smart (extremly smart) but why me. I don’t own that kind of intelligence i’m not exactly what you call smart i blame the fact that i got good grades last semester on my parents (not on myself). Its amazing how people can have different perceptions of you. and sometimes you make those ideas of people you display yourself differently to evoke those kind of thoughts and yet when you meet people you find you never actually know who you are in the end. like with some people i can be a good two shoes and with others a cynical and unhappy individual it just depends on the person that i meet the problem i find is when my friends from different places get together and then you REALLY wonder how do i act? its a weird thing i say its amazing how some people believe me to be smart and other believe me to be outright stupid and idiotic i just don’t understand…. till next time

Love is weird thing the other night i spent almost 4 hours just thinking pondering my future i have no idea what i want out of life i want to be a better person and more friendly and happy and yet i feel that they are impossible to attempt anyways while i pondered i thought up a small analogy.

MY LOVE ANALOGY

Love is not a simple thing it takes time and commitment. it’s kind of like climbing a tree and going out on a limb for someone or something the only way to have true commitment and faith as well as love towards the other thing or person you have to tread out on that branch and test it. Sometimes it breaks and sometimes its sturdy (there are all differnt types of people) and when it breaks its not exactly a huge issue because you fall and there happens to be a river underneath it and most people become lucky and they swim to shore and climb back up that tree and some don’t. there are also some who get sweeped away by the currents of life and never return to that particular shore the only thing is i’m afraid of drowning (i’m terribly afraid) so terrified that i don’t think i will ever venture out onto that limb of life because sometimes that branch can be known as a curse or a blessing it just depends how you think about it…. see ya later guys